Sex and the Iloilo City: “Rebirth”

Hello friends! i'm back!

Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to become a sex expert. A young free spirited sex expert who can tackle issues that no normal human being can talk about. Yup, you read it right, a sex expert. 

During kindergarten I would snoop around my teachers table and look for obscene shenanigans and look curiously to every physical angle my mind could goggle up so that I can tell my friends some tattle tales they have never heard before. My best friend Frances would even bring me to her house and show me different fortnightly displaying distinctive neurotic organs contracting to uncommon bodily structures of another specie. My first encounter with a female sex organ was on my 4th grade. My friend, Voldemort, had me and my other friends drop by their house for lunch. It was the most amazing experience a kid can ever witness. We slowly entered his room with trembling nerves and sweating armpits as Voldemort bit by bit opened the gates of a foreseeing haven for untimely pleasure. He made us peek into the long hole and watched his parents drench themselves doing the atypical intentional act of self expression, the next was legendary. We cried subtle tears that day being in the state of disbelief thinking his father was killing her mother with a humongous built in knife, even though its not pointed. I was so scared with the unsettling feeling in the stomach that made me want to vomit at the same time.

After quite sometime, we never stopped giggling. What a show.



Growing up was a lot different, you tend to realize varying aspects as well as consequences in every detail you might combine your life with. Welcome back Pete!

And so Sex and the Iloilo City was born.

My previous subject of concern tackled Drab to Fab Hand Jobs, Dance floor Erection and Post Party Depression. My mother read my articles and after that was history. All I ever received from her was a long murderous look that if I take a sudden shift on my muscle, I would immediately see the letters D-I-E spelled with my blood. It was horrible. After that, I ended my career in writing.

Now, a stranger sent me a letter asking my advice about something. Let’s see what we can do about it. 

Here it goes.

Dear Mr Sex Expert Wannabe,

This is Mr Confused and I don’t know what to do. I slept with someone whom I have been flirting with for sometime now. We can call it Sino-Tibetan, I can’t clearly comprehend what happened between us but one thing is for sure. I wanted to do that again. It happened twice already and I have the feeling that it is no coincident. Everyone tells me there is a chance we might end up passionately together but the signs I have been reading tells a different story. I don’t know if we are both virgins in this field and I don’t want to feel like I am just one of those persons whom Sino-Tibetan has slept with. After that night, I haven't heard anything from Sino-tibetan. Well, for a fact that I was quite eager to do what we did again I keep on reaching out. We had an unrequited sexual contact in which I didn’t have the chance to scratch my itch away but maybe its not just reproductive union I was longing to do but to sleep close beside each other and feel the warmth each one can offer. What do you think should I do about it? I have been thinking about it lately and it sinks into my nerves. The memory preoccupies the center of my consciousness which generates thoughts, feelings, ideas, and perceptions, and stores memories and is making my life cranky. I tried reaching out but it doesn’t work.

Yours, 
Mr Confused.


Well hello to you too.

Dear Mr Confused,

What a hell of a problem you got there, you sure you need a sex expert’s help? I’m not a love guru you know. It puzzled me a little on that part. What the heck of Sino-Tibetan name is anyway? First, how sure are you that it’s no coincident? Other people’s comment doesn’t guarantee truth. It’s all assumptions unless you yourself confirm it. How come you can’t tell if both of you are virgins or not? Or the question may be, does it matter? How about if you just allow things to pass through freely. No one can tell what’s in store for both of you right? Being in that situation is like giving a simple hand job and making it into the most wonderful hand work you have ever given. 

In short, don’t fuss because Sino-Tibetan has left you hanging. If that’s what Sino-Tibetan wants, go ahead and feed it. Just use lotion to make everything flow smoothly. And when you reach your climax, just smile. I was quite dumbfounded. You actually never got over the itch even if you slept together? What a shame. When you get the chance to have another little sleep over, just aim high and hit the mark. Hey mister, I’m running out of ideas here. Maybe you can give your one best final blow to identify what’s up with both of you. If you have read some of my articles, it would clearly speak about your problem like post party depression and knowing when to ask again the “bystander”. 

So you’re telling me it’s not sex that you have been looking after for but the warmth and fire you showed each other right? Well, according to Landis, Carney of Sex in the Development, the best part of having sex is when both of you reach the climax and hugs each other and feel the feeling you have just released. I do understand you being emotional with all this, for all we know, sex isn’t just sex. Its a combination of intense emotion and expression. Maybe you got carried away of what is happening between both of you that you are beginning to go crazy over that Sino-Tibetan person. You have the choice, to know the factual score, stop analyzing, be coherent or you can just completely ignore and continue what you have started. You choose. Besides, reaching orgasm is a choice.

Mr Sex Expert Wannabe



So there goes another senseless issue of my self proclaimed Sex Article. 

Tip for the day: Communication plays a vital role in having sex. 

And just a little trivia, I am still a virgin. Believe it or not, it’s Ripley's.

So don’t worry Mom, nothing is wrong with my writing, just the grammar.

*wink*