Open letter to myself

Dear little grown up boy,

How fast time flies and you are now on the end of your teenage dreams. Hanging in between three (3) and Zero (0). So how would you label this young new feeling you are heading to? The freedom of having your own wings, no longer frightened of what the future holds. Indeed, there is strength in numbers. 

Welcome to another bold new chapter of your future. Furtive, dark and a little bit twisty. But you were always a little bit of crazy. And I am sure your friends can truly validate that. Now that you are growing up, please lessen the recalcitrant nature. You can’t skip the process all the time. And stop going back and forth to your glory days, the days you regret the most, the itchy heartaches, and the stupid you. Breathe and move forward little guy. You deserve so much happiness if you just learn how to warm up a little. Thaw that ice inside your heart that keeps you from moving forward. Unfreeze your spirit, maybe then you’d grow. 

Stop worrying about the what if’s and what will be. It is such a waste of energy. You have to start believing that you have a beautiful soul. 

Please little boy, start writing those stories you have made up in your head. Pick up that pen and write. Fill up that page and never bother about that comical grammar choice you always had. You cannot start something up by just wondering if it’s in the right framework or verb agreement. 

Remember the 5 things you told me before? Let me tell them again to you:

1. Never delay lunch. It will make you counterproductive. And less energetic. There is always a reason why you need that middle of the day break. 

2. A little patience will save you. Yup, you know how erratic your moods are. Remember the time you just smiled on that rude lady? It was a miracle. Give yourself some more practice and you’d be the best grown up boy there is.

3. At the beginning of each day, set a mini achievable goal. Like the one you did earlier. Pick up a random trash and dispose it properly. Motivate three people today. Smile at five random strangers. Those simple acts of randomness can save lives. 

4. Embrace individuality. You can never be everybody. Start appreciating your hair. Give comfort to your color. You too have traits that others do not possess. And that makes you stand out against anyone. 

5. Never stop learning. Get to know new things like renaissance art, Russian literature, African mythology, research, Economics. Because life will always be a bore. And through learning we spice and shake it up a little bit.

Little boy, you are on your own for the longest time and that has made you who you are today. It’s time to let the bad things go now. Good things are everywhere and you are surrounded by such crazy family and friends who loves you unconditionally. So go ahead and conquer the world. Never doubt yourself. See things differently and love your life even more. Happiest birthday. 

P.s.
Don’t forget to thank your friends and everyone who gave you well wishes and love. They make life better. 

P.PS.
I am not done writing to you yet. 

Love, 

Jan Rae